September 2021 Loving Kindness Parami #9
Mindful Monday Meditation class offered weekly from 12 noon until 12:35 p.m. is open to all, by donation (to the Family Food Pantry). We have been meeting weekly since January, 2019.
If you’d like to be on the mailing list for Mindful Monday Meditation, please send your email address to: debennis50@gmail.com. Thank you.
In our guided practice sessions, for 2021 we are exploring 10 qualities of the heart as taught by the Buddha. (You don’t have to call yourself a Buddhist to benefit from this, it is being taught as a secular, non-religious practice and is relevant and beneficial for all human beings who want to create lasting sources of happiness and freedom).
Called the Paramis, these practices help us to bring Mindfulness into all aspects of our lives, individually and in relationship with others, both in our formal practice and in our daily lives.
I am using these sources as references:
Creating a life of integrity: in conversation with Joseph Goldstein Gail Andersen Stark 2020
Parami: Ways to cross life’s floods Ajahn Succito 2012 https://www.amaravati.org/dhamma-books/parami-ways-to-cross-lifes-floods/
A Whole Life Path: a lay Buddhist’s guide to crafting a dhamma-infused life Gregory Kramer 2017
Pay Attention, for goodness’ sake: practicing the perfections of the heart Sylvia Boorstein 2002
For a description of the previous Paramis, refer to earlier blog posts, thank you.
Loving Kindness
It is the natural inclination of the heart to be open and responsive to feelings of care and kindness towards ourselves and towards others. Unfortunately, that natural tendency is often blocked and overshadowed by preoccupations, busyness and emotions such as fear, worry, guilt and confusion. This teaching invites us to work and play with these qualities of the heart, which can help us reconnect with this natural radiance.
When I am reminded of this quality through things I hear or read, it lights me up and inspires me towards feeling happier. It is a lovely counterbalance to the conditioned tendency to get lost in the judging and comparing mind, which is never satisfied with what I’m doing, what I’ve accomplished, or who I am. It is exhausting to be caught up in feelings of being “less than” or “better than” and looking for evidence to support those conclusions. On the contrary, it is a welcome invitation to live and breathe with a focus on positive qualities in myself and others, and the kind acts that occur all the time.
We can consciously connect with qualities of Loving Kindness by bringing to mind times we received “acts of goodwill” from others. It may have been a clerk, a receptionist who smiled and treated us kindly, a driver who yielded, a friend who offered kind words of support, a co-worker or neighbor or someone we volunteer with who reached out with encouragement, understanding, assistance or praise. It may have been a family member who sought us out for advice or to share something special. Making time to reflect on these generous, kind, and simple acts is a way we can activate qualities of kindness within ourselves.
Connecting with memories and images of personally receiving acts of kindness and care, or of witnessing others receiving kindness and care, allows us to access those qualities within ourselves, which allows us to more easily extend them to others as a practice.
Sometimes it is helpful to use a few phrases, repeating them over and over silently as you sit, or as you engage in an activity like walking, washing dishes, preparing a meal. Some common phrases that have been used include:
“May I (you) be safe and protected.”
“May I (you) be happy and peaceful of heart.”
“May I (you) be healthy and strong of body.”
“May I (you) live with kindness and ease.”
We can use these phrases first for ourselves, then for different categories of people, such as:
Teachers, mentors, those who have supported and encouraged us.
Friends and loved ones.
Strangers
Difficult people
Ultimately, we begin to realize that loving kindness can extend to all beings without exception, the way the sun shines on everything, not picking and choosing which things to light up. Extending lovingkindness to all beings invites us to recognize the commonality we share, that we all want to be happy, that we are each burdened by wounds and hurts from the past, and that we are each deserving of kindness. Through this practice we can realize liberation from a self-centered focus on “what do I need and want” to a more universal awareness that we’re connected and dependent on one another. We are invited to realize our higher selves as we integrate this practice of Lovingkindness into our lives.